My mother greeted me on Mother’s Day with a huge smile. “Thank you for the flowers,” she said. I’d just arrived to take her to lunch and had my gift in hand. I had not sent her flowers. “What flowers, mom? I didn’t get you flowers this year.” She pointed to a corsage on her lapel. “These flowers. They’re because of you.” Mom seemed … Continue reading The oldest kid in church
I’ve been thinking about the whole transgender bathroom issue. I have to admit, I’m confused. If a fella is dressing as a woman and identifies as a woman and goes into the Ladies and into a stall and does his business . . . who’s going to know? And if a woman is dressed as a man and strolls past the urinals to do her … Continue reading But how will they enforce it?
Dear Mr. Importantpants, As per your request, the hotel has refunded the charge for your room for Thursday night. This was a “no show” charge, and we apologize for the confusion over your arrival date. The fact that you changed said arrival date several times during the 48 hour period prior to arrival in no way excuses the mistake on our end. The group desk … Continue reading A little something about my day job
So last Friday at the Erma Bombeck Humor Writers’ Conference in Dayton my friend Judith’s favorite pair of cowboy boots started coming apart. The top of the boot was pulling away from the sole. She thought about asking for duct tape at the Marriott desk, or even some of that clear, wide tape you use to wrap up a package for shipping. Judith loves those … Continue reading My friend Judith, Barack Obama, and cowboy boots
I call her Minnie. She’s played an important role in my work for more than a year now and I’ve been grateful for her company and reliability. I keep a supply of double A’s on hand to feed her, but she’s rarely hungry. Streamlined and stylish, Minnie is the perfect size for my hand and rocks a hot pink graphic on the back of her … Continue reading Almost killed an innocent mouse
My phone has been messing with me lately. In fact, I would say this phone is up to shenanigans, a word I use as homage to my dear friend, Kari, who loves shenanigans both as a fun word and amusing activity. Anyway, the shenanigans began last week when my new Bluetooth started speaking to me in Spanish. Now, I’m pretty sure that the last Bluetooth … Continue reading Phone Shenanigans
I have a few chores around the house that I’ve been avoiding. Things that require me to stand on a ladder or dig up substitutes for tools I don’t own. I may go into a nursing home before the two new smoke alarms get installed. It got me to thinking (especially since my birthday is coming up) that a really nice present for a single … Continue reading I want a man for my birthday
As I write this, I’m thinking about all the different songs that have “call me,” or something to that effect, in the lyrics. Now it can be call me, or text me, or instant message me. Reply to my email? How about a tweet? Instagram? Does anybody actually communicate via Pinterest? No matter what method you use to reach out to someone else, a key … Continue reading Call me?
My dad used to say, when something was just okay, “Well, that’s better than a poke in the eye with a dirty stick.” Many, many things would be far better than being poked in the eye with a dirty stick. Like eating liver, even. Although, on the nights I was forced to remain at the table until I ate just ONE BITE of liver, my … Continue reading In case someone pokes me in the eye with a dirty stick.
It started innocently enough – a contribution toward the campaign of my favorite presidential candidate. I made a small donation through PayPal and was feeling pretty righteous. Little did I know that I had opened a can of worms that now wiggle into my Outlook inbox almost hourly. I’m going to leave names out of this, but you may be able to guess who I’m … Continue reading Me vs. the Koch Brothers?
Kate Mahar writes . . . 