Not cracking, and not normal

I was feeling practically perky the last time I wrote. I was ready to “get cracking” and was feeling “almost normal.”

By the way – I promise not to make the use of quotation marks a habit. How “annoying.”

Anyway. I just realized I’ve been referring to the September calendar all week. It’s bad enough that I haven’t been completely sure what DAY of the week it was, but now I also discover I didn’t even have the right month in mind. I also wrote a post two days ago (I think?) that I thought I published, but apparently I didn’t, and I didn’t even save the draft, somehow. So the truth is, I’m only back to normal if I conclude that being confused and ditzy is par for the course for me.

I don’t think so.

Last night Mom brought Dad’s ashes over to my house. She is keeping a portion of his remains in a small marble box that will be buried with her one day. The rest was divided into three little baggies and a good-sized, surprisingly heavy box with the bulk of his remains. It was too hard for her to keep that at home, but Dad is now resting comfortably in the bottom drawer of my dining room buffet. He liked my cooking, so I think it’s a good spot for the time being.

Next summer when Penny comes back to visit, we’ll ask Bob and Donna to come up and we’ll go out on someone’s boat and scatter the ashes into Lake Erie. That was Dad’s wish. One little baggie is going to Penny to keep with her in Utah. We’ll scatter Bob’s bag on the 18th hole at Madison Country Club, and I’ve decided I’ll bring my bag to scatter somewhere on the course at Cove Cay in Florida this winter.

I was telling my cousin, Carole, about the plans. Her husband Joe was cremated and asked to have his ashes scattered in a tranquil and picturesque little pond near their home. Carole said she wants to have her ashes scattered with Joe’s, except for one problem. She’s afraid of water.

I think I have come up with a partial solution for her.

I have already told my son Chris to use a healthy chunk of my money to take a nice, long trip to Italy and to bring my ashes along with him. He is to leave bits of me in all the beautiful spots I have loved there. 

IMG_0477Since Carole and I are the very best of traveling buddies, it only makes sense for her to send some of her ashes with Chris and me and he can leave us BOTH in some of our favorite places. Some can stay with Joe in the pond, but maybe it won’t seem quite so bad if it’s not all of her, you know?

So anyway, I want to join the earth not just in the big cities of Florence, Venice and Rome, but also in Lucca, Vietri, Monterosso, a bit in Lake Como. And I’m not done exploring Italy yet. There may be more stops for Chris before his itinerary is complete!

But back to not normal and not getting cracking. I find myself plagued with spells of lethargy in between spurts of energy. Unfortunately, the more positive spurts (short) are all but negated by the spells (read: longer periods of time)  of depression and weariness. I could curl up on the couch for a nap this minute.

Maybe I will.

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